Something like that, but there's more to it than just that. I think I'm supposed to be collecting them, but I can't remember why. It's something that's still kind of fuzzy.
It's like—you ever just have the total worst week of your life, and then once you think it's finally over... I screwed up, I remember that much. And now I'm here.
Maybe. For now, at least. I think...some people will throw their hat in the ring right away and try to win for their team. And some people will just try to hold on and survive and hope there's another way out.
It's easy. Two players each have a racket to swing the ball back and forth over a net, and if you miss the ball or hit the net, you lose that round. And then you go again.
Yep, back and forth. You're trying to make the other person miss the ball so they lose the round, but it can be fun to see how long you're able to keep it up too.
No, it's not. And there are people here who are having a hard time with it, but...I don't know. I'm used to going through horrible things? And I guess so are you.
...Yeah, same. Wake up, help with the chores, go into the woods to visit grandma, hang out with my best friend, grandma, and stay up until 8 PM baking cookies if we're in a naughty mood, come home after. Normal stuff.
[she's very tense, staying back and keeping her distance. she doesn't have the body language of someone planning to either attack or to run, though, just a creature warning you to keep a safe distance.]
It's become so hard for me to make friends these days. I want to tell you we can sit together and be in company. But I'm scared... I'm scared to let you sit here with me.
I think it'll probably, for one reason or another, make me extra angry when I find out. Either it's someone who's been pretending to be nice, or it's something who I knew we had to be wary of.
[well, it's after trial. she can be found out at the canals, giving off the impression of someone who hasn't slept in about seventy two hours. a little wired, like a wild animal that's hit the point of exhaustion but isn't safe yet.]
[ anyway this thread is like a week old and they're just gonna be hanging out and vibing so I'm wrapping this up and saying that's what they're doing for a little while longer. onwards to new threads... ]
[she definitely feels excited! it's been a rough week and her feelings below the surface are angry and sad, but it seems easy enough for her to put that to the side for a little while.]
Sounds good to me! You're going to show me the best flavors, right?
[im just going to make this easier, ylfa is standing in the middle of the city! she has her hood pulled very closely around her head and over her ears and hands, like she's hiding a little bit, but she's still looking around curiously.]
It's huge...
[anyway, she looks at mizuki.]
What do you want to do? Should we see a movie, or go race...?
you will now have company sitting in the seat beside you in the form of one (1) mizuki. maybe we're watching princess mononoke again. or maybe we're just sitting in silence. ]
[ The good news is that this isn't the first time she's had flashes of someone else's mind within her own, so it's not wholly shocking.
But what Mizuki sees... is, and as she regains her bearings when the memory ends, she nearly misses Ylfa tumbling back down to—not land, exactly, but whatever the solid surface of a cloud could be called. ]
[ugh. the memory itself is kind of sweet to her now, but she still can't help feeling weird about mizuki having seen all of that. she hasn't had many friends her own age before, and now mizuki knows she's weird, in that she kills people and eats them sometimes. the stuff of your classic tween drama.]
...Yeah, I know. It's not even the first time I've shown people gross memories.
[ ... huh. Mizuki doesn't think that's how she'd view it, but then again—that vision made it abundantly clear that Ylfa is hardly proud of who she is now. ]
[hmm, that's a little complicated. it's not that she isn't proud of who she is; she's done some growing since that memory, after all. but the drawbacks are pretty profound.]
I really didn't want to do something like that. But if I hadn't gone to a version of my story where that's who I am, I wouldn't have been able to help Mother and everyone.
I don't know what life is like for you outside of this game, or what you've been through, but—I always got the impression you're only doing what you feel is right.
...I'm trying to. I've made mistakes before, or lost control. But the world I'm from is pretty dangerous and scary, so I think it's a good thing that I'm a little dangerous and scary, too.
I think they do. Maybe not always 100% acceptance, because sometimes I do turn my body into a spider shaped body by breaking all my bones and growing extra ones, and they aren't so into that.
[she's very pleased mizuki likes her spider stance. she would be less pleased if she saw it, it's truly the body horror of all time.]
Yeah, we've had to fight giant spiders before, so it was handy. I can do a horse, too. Mostly I transform into a wolf, but sometimes it's handy to be flexible.
Yeah. The other day, I wanted to see how far of a drop it was, so I let go of my zipline and fell pretty far! I had to tornado myself back to catch another zipline...
[ wow a pig goes running by!!! wow a memory happens!!!
You're stunned into silence, dropping both your umbrella and flashlight where you stand. Another voice can be heard behind you, gasping loudly before they yell out of fear and stumble back; in the next moment they're running away back where you both came, but it barely registers to you as your own shock completely paralyzes you. Rain pours, but you don't feel cold anymore.
But you do feel as if your insides are twisting around so hard you could hurl them out at any moment.
Eventually, you're able to step forth upon the cracked wooden platform of the old, broken merry-go-round, deteriorating from years of abandonment; the entire amusement park around you is like this, emptied and decaying and surrounded by a city skyline with nary a single light on within its buildings. The only source of light for miles around is the flashlight you've dropped in a puddle, but it's enough to illuminate the carousel horse you somehow force yourself to approach in a daze.
A woman—in her thirties, dressed in a black business dress, tights, and heels—is mounted upon the horse, both hands tied behind her back, and a rope wrapped around her waist to keep her in place. Her body slumps, completely and utterly lifeless, and it's clear why when there are numerous bloodied punctures along her torso.
I...
With trembling hands, you climb up with the bar underneath the horse, leaning over the body.
I have to get it out. I have to—
One hand brushes aside the woman's bangs while the other grips around a bloodied icepick lodged into the left eye socket. There's no eye within, but that doesn't seem to register to you; your shaky hand only pulls, and pulls, until you're able to yank it out with a sudden jerk.
You feel so hollow inside you're not able to think of what to do next. You don't even notice the blood on your hands.
[ No, she supposes not. Ylfa's seen enough bad, from what she's told—inarguably moments worse than Mizuki's own experiences. (It's not a competition, but still.) Yet it's still sudden enough that she feels guilty for it.
[she's not necessarily meaning that her memories are so bad, so much as it makes her feel badly when people react like something they saw was gross or upsetting. she doesn't want to do the same.]
...Oh. I'm really sorry, Mizuki. What happened to her?
It's complicated, and I can't really - I can't really talk about it, because it's not my place to. I just hate it. They're the best people in the entire world.
That's nice of you, but it can't really be like that, either. If it was your team, I'd vote for them. Because the game doesn't work in a way that makes it easy to have friends here.
That's something Lambda said to me one time. That this isn't a place where it's possible to like everyone.
I thought it was kind of neat she was like that, but I also disagree. You can like people here. It's just that you have to accept it's going to hurt really badly all the time.
[ylfa can be found on monday down exploring the underground tunnels a bit. her ears are perked up, listening for the sounds of any creatures in the dark.]
…You know that I was the one who killed Lambda, right?
[or maybe she doesn’t.]
I’m really sorry for hurting you guys. For hurting your team. It’s so unfair - especially if you guys felt like you had to do something and she wasn’t here to help.
I figured you probably killed someone, but I didn't know who. I'm... not mad about it, not anymore. Even before this week, I knew why others' are doing this.
Yeah. No matter what happens next, it's kind of a relief that there's no more weeks. Even if we don't have enough points, I just don't think I could do another one.
😂 It's monday 👏✌️ the start ↗️ of a new ✅🚩 week 📅📅📅 mondays are 😩😓 HARD 😱👎 👏‼️send this to 👭 6 👬 HOMIES 👫 to make 🙏 them have a ✨ GOOD ✨ Monday. 🙅♂️ DON'T 🙅♀️ BREAK 🔗🔗 THE CHAIN 🔗🔗 or else you'll have a 💥 BAD 💥 monday. GO 🏃🏃🏃
[ I'm voiding in Shibuya all over today so I will continue that trend. So! She's at Shibuya Crossing, a little out of the way while she shadow people watches. ]
Oh, that one. I'm not listening to a single thing in that! It was the worst note I've ever gotten! It started out like "okay you're going to have to redo the 8 weeks, either don't murder or do or DEFINITELY DON'T but do" and then was like "maybe you'll be trapped for a hundred years!" and then they argued a bunch about killing Ruby and not trusting Kiichi and Aika and...
Then the really beautiful lady and that guy showed up and absolutely none of what they said was actually right!
... I dunno. My two closest friends were in the hospital before I came here, so they've probably had their own stuff to worry about. I guess if anyone were to notice, it'd be Date.
I mentioned that I might be 13 now, because it's hard to say what counts. Like - we've been here for two months, but we were dead, but maybe we were alive? And before that, I relived the same couple months over again. So chronologically?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
adorabrawler) wrote2023-06-10 02:57 pm
w0; fwiday
A big hungry feeling—not that I blame you. All this walking around in a mysterious and weird city works up one heck of an appetite.
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The chickens. They're important, somehow. I'm sure of that.
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week 0; sunday
...Hey. Are you okay?
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Maybe less than I thought.
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I get it. It'd be nice if everything could just go back to how it's supposed to be.
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Heh, y'know... I tell myself that a lot, but it never does then, and it probably won't now.
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I've never been the best at making friends, but I think sharing secrets can be a pretty good way to do it. At least, as far as I've heard.
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Yeah, talking does help... But only if you don't mind.
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[ where to even begin. ]
It's like—you ever just have the total worst week of your life, and then once you think it's finally over... I screwed up, I remember that much. And now I'm here.
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Why do you say you screwed up?
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'Cause I'm... here, now. Dead. Apparently.
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[ She trails off, thinking maybe there's no use protesting it. ]
Well. Anyway, I guess all that's why I got mad.
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I don't think either approach is bad, or wrong.
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w0; tuesday
—Think fast!
[ At least she isn't throwing the ball too hard. ]
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embarrassing!]
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This catches Mizuki so off guard she has to pause for a moment. ]
Uh— [ ... ] Points for originality.
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[taking...the tennis ball out of her mouth...]
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Um...why'd you throw this at me?
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In retrospect, this is probably a bad look, huh. ]
Er—no real reason! Just—y'know, sometimes you're messing around and tossing a ball when someone isn't expecting it... just to see what happens.
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well ylfa does not perceive this.]
Oh. Yeah, I know that feeling. Do it all the time.
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Really, you're not the first one. There's not a lot to do around here...
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Do you want to play something? I don't know all that much about sports, but I can learn.
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[she's still holding onto the tennis ball.]
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[ she wanders over to wherever the rackets are ]
—These!
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So you hit it with these?
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week 0; sunday
...Hey. How're you holding up?
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Well. I won't pretend that wasn't totally messed up, but—I'll be okay. ... What about you?
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Very much the same, yeah.
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[ or was that just her. oh well. ]
... But that's probably true, too.
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Mizuki pauses briefly, then exhales softly. ]
Yeah... Yeah. You're right. It's not exactly normal.
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[ may as well lay it out there ]
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...Yeah. Me neither.
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[ she gestures with a hand ]
I didn't mean it like that. But—like I said, it's not normal, even for me.
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w1; friday
—Oh. Ylfa?
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You shouldn't be here.
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She pauses, hesitant to land on any one decision in the moment, but eventually opts for: ]
Why? Are you all right?
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[she's very tense, staying back and keeping her distance. she doesn't have the body language of someone planning to either attack or to run, though, just a creature warning you to keep a safe distance.]
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[ Another moment of silence follows. ]
I can turn around and go, if you want—but if you just want a little bit of company... We don't have to say much.
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It's become so hard for me to make friends these days. I want to tell you we can sit together and be in company. But I'm scared... I'm scared to let you sit here with me.
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Would it help if I said I'm not afraid to?
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[ She will crouch where she is, mostly to hang out at the ledge that overlooks the river. ]
Is it... okay if I ask why you're scared?
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I don't want you to think I'm weird.
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I won't. I promise.
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You're not the person I'm angry at but that might not matter.
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If worse comes to worse, I can bounce away in a pinch—but I don't think it'll get that bad.
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...Thanks.
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[she shrinks a little, hunching under her cloak.]
I really liked Rin. He was so nice to me. I don't like feeling this way.
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Yeah... When you're just so angry that you want to hit something, but there's not really anyone to get angry at.
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[her ears droop a little.]
I think it'll probably, for one reason or another, make me extra angry when I find out. Either it's someone who's been pretending to be nice, or it's something who I knew we had to be wary of.
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week 1; saturday
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... Hey. I was wondering if I'd be able to find you.
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[she's not quite on edge the way she was last night; it's a different energy. she doesn't seem to object to mizuki approaching.]
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[ ...
she does approach, if to just hang out closer. ]
It's like you said. You found them.
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We did. But it was a long day.
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[ pretends i was there the whole time wahaha ]
How're you feeling?
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You should get some rest tonight.
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[she has slept, she's just very wired.]
Tomorrow, it will be over.
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Do you want anything right now?
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... You probably just want your space right now. I'll go somewhere else.
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No, it's okay. Maybe it doesn't seem like it, but I'm really glad you're here.
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Really?
[ she seems surprised, but pleasantly so ]
Alright, then I'll stay. Wanna sit by the ledge?
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[she doesn't have that much to say, but it's nice to just sit in silence for a little while.]
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[ anyway this thread is like a week old and they're just gonna be hanging out and vibing so I'm wrapping this up and saying that's what they're doing for a little while longer. onwards to new threads... ]
w2; monday
[ waving her down!! ]
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[waved down! she'll come over to her!]
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[ Which she finishes off in a sing-songy voice. ]
Wanna go get some?
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Yes! I've never even had a milkshake before, but I'm already in!
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[ she beckons to follow we are going RIGHT NOW ]
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Sounds good to me! You're going to show me the best flavors, right?
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But that's all of them... Well, except maybe mint.
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[ylfa's toxic trait is liking grandma things so she probably wants like. rum raisin or something.]
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I think I'm try something a little more traditional for my first go around.
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Like vanilla? Or chocolate!
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[don't ask me whether they have vanilla or chocolate in the world of fairy tales they just do.]
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You can never go wrong with vanilla.
[ i am now timeskipping them to the diner. TADAA! they are here. ]
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They have more than just milkshakes! They have a whole bunch of things.
[delicious.]
But first things first, a vanilla shake. With extra cherries for the garnish.
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[ Save them from McDonald's. But! Time to order. ]
As for me—let's see... I'll go with the classic chocolate. With lots of whipped cream and chocolate syrup! Aaand some nuts on top, 'cause why not.
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Extra whipped cream and nuts for me!
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[ Through the magic of text rp handwaving, within x amount of time... Ta-daa. Milkshakes! ]
Ohhh, man. These look amazing.
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They're big! [there's so much whipped cream on her double whipped cream.]
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—Those old ones?!
week 2; thursday
Mizuki, I need to ask you a favor.
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—Oh, hey. What's up?
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Well, there's a rule, so I have to bite you, unfortunately.
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[ offers an arm ]
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There's not really a good way to ask if I could do the same in return, huh.
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You can! I wouldn't want you to get in trouble.
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[ she will take ylfa's arm for a likewise gentle chomp. ]
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Thanks...
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week 3; monday
It's huge...
[anyway, she looks at mizuki.]
What do you want to do? Should we see a movie, or go race...?
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[and did it come out in 1999?]
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Yep, but they probably don't have it here anyway. Theaters tend to only show what's come out recently.
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Oh. Well, that's good, because I don't know any of these movies, either. So we can just pick something that has a good looking poster.
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[movie roulette is exciting. let's go to the theater where posters are up of...every movie from the year 1999? do any stand out?]
What type of story do you like, I guess I should ask?
w3; friday
you will now have company sitting in the seat beside you in the form of one (1) mizuki. maybe we're watching princess mononoke again. or maybe we're just sitting in silence. ]
I really hate these days.
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...Mizuki. Are you - [she seems a little surprised to see her, but she looks worried, too.] - your teammate.
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...Sorry. It's so horrible.
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[ ... ]
But it's the same as before. We can only wait for tomorrow.
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[she nods.]
I guess, when it was Rin, it didn't really even help. It would've been worse to never find out, but it didn't help.
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To be honest, I'm still figuring that out, too.
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Yeah. Especially since we have friends on all different teams.
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w4; monday
have a memory. when it's over she's still floating awkwardly in a bubble. but it pops and she lands.]
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But what Mizuki sees... is, and as she regains her bearings when the memory ends, she nearly misses Ylfa tumbling back down to—not land, exactly, but whatever the solid surface of a cloud could be called. ]
—Ylfa! ... You okay?
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Mizuki! I'm really sorry you had to see that!
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No—no, you don't have to apologize. That's... been happening a lot today.
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...Yeah, I know. It's not even the first time I've shown people gross memories.
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I wouldn't call that gross.
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[hmm, that's a little complicated. it's not that she isn't proud of who she is; she's done some growing since that memory, after all. but the drawbacks are pretty profound.]
I really didn't want to do something like that. But if I hadn't gone to a version of my story where that's who I am, I wouldn't have been able to help Mother and everyone.
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I don't know what life is like for you outside of this game, or what you've been through, but—I always got the impression you're only doing what you feel is right.
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...I'm trying to. I've made mistakes before, or lost control. But the world I'm from is pretty dangerous and scary, so I think it's a good thing that I'm a little dangerous and scary, too.
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There's nothing wrong with being a little dangerous—especially if you need it.
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I think they do. Maybe not always 100% acceptance, because sometimes I do turn my body into a spider shaped body by breaking all my bones and growing extra ones, and they aren't so into that.
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um, ]
—You can do that?
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It's kind of weird, but also kind of useful.
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That's.... probably one of the weirdest things I've heard, but I gotta admit it sounds pretty hardcore, too.
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Yeah, we've had to fight giant spiders before, so it was handy. I can do a horse, too. Mostly I transform into a wolf, but sometimes it's handy to be flexible.
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[the real explanation for this is that one of her d&d classes is druid, so she has a bunch of druid forms but they're all wolf flavored.]
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That's even cooler than the ones you see on TV.
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w4; wednesday
Y'know, I think I prefer it down here on solid ground.
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You don't like hopping around on the clouds and ziplining?
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Iiii think that definitely makes you braver than me.
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Well, I just knew I could catch myself.
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[it would have helped in trial, it turns out. it's fine.]
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Soooo that means I'll leave the jumping off clouds to you!
[ meanwhile: muffled oinking in the distance. ]
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... Oh. ]
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...she's stunned at this memory, too. she's no stranger to blood and death, but it's hard to see someone in this state, and to feel mizuki's fear.]
...Mizuki? What was that?
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[ It's like getting suddenly, unexpectedly gutpunched, really. ]
Why did it... show that...
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[but she does want to know what happened. it's hard to know what to do in these situations.]
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[she's just going to put a paw on her shoulder.]
Nothing about your memories are gross or bad to me. I just saw something scary and awful that happened to you.
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[ No, she supposes not. Ylfa's seen enough bad, from what she's told—inarguably moments worse than Mizuki's own experiences. (It's not a competition, but still.) Yet it's still sudden enough that she feels guilty for it.
Mizuki slips out a shaky exhale. ]
It was—my mom.
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...Oh. I'm really sorry, Mizuki. What happened to her?
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week 5; saturday
she's sitting outside the warehouse door, axe across her lap.]
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Do you mind some company?
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[she's just tired and angry and wants to protect her team, but she can't.]
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[ She sits beside her. ]
I just wanted to check up on you.
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[she looks down at her hands.]
It's complicated, and I can't really - I can't really talk about it, because it's not my place to. I just hate it. They're the best people in the entire world.
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I don't think anybody is making us do anything, Mizuki. There's no text messages anymore, I don't think.
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I don't know if I could bring myself to, really.
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That's nice of you, but it can't really be like that, either. If it was your team, I'd vote for them. Because the game doesn't work in a way that makes it easy to have friends here.
That's something Lambda said to me one time. That this isn't a place where it's possible to like everyone.
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... Yeah. Lambda got frustrated with me a lot over things like that.
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week 5; monday
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... So there's probably a bunch of spiders here, too.
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week 5; thursday
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...Mizuki. Are you okay?
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[ Like she's suddenly jerked away from her thoughts. Mizuki looks up. ]
Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. Just... thinking, that's all.
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[she's going to go sit down.]
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[ seemed like everyone else knew all about it already... oh well. ]
... Well, yeah. So you might know it's, uh. Rough.
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That's what I thought. I saw some memories and things, and Livio and I talk a lot.
Did something happen?
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[holy shit??? why do they keep sending 12 year olds to hell?]
I was in mine for a long time, but I don't think it was 120 years. Maybe a week...?
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I think we had a, uh. Very unique case.
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week 6; monday
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—Aaah!
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Aah! Are you okay?
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[ she just like. stares for a moment. ]
That... caught me by surprise. Never been in a sudden snowstorm before.
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w6; saturday
Mizuki is loitering around its grounds, staring into a window as if debating something. ]
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Mizuki, are you okay? […what happened?]
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[ ... ]
I don't know. Debating if it's worth breaking stuff or not.
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[… What should I say?]
Was it you guys? You and Monika? I thought maybe…
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[her not answering says a lot, anyway.]
I would never have voted for you guys.
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You wouldn't?
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Um. Mizuki, I’ve killed people here…
I know you guys were probably only trying to do something to help.
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[she knows. it was brutal and scary, so unlike Wenzhou.]
People like to imagine the person in their head. Someone evil, who they can get revenge on and not feel bad.
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But—thanks. It's a relief to know someone gets it.
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[or maybe she doesn’t.]
I’m really sorry for hurting you guys. For hurting your team. It’s so unfair - especially if you guys felt like you had to do something and she wasn’t here to help.
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I figured you probably killed someone, but I didn't know who. I'm... not mad about it, not anymore. Even before this week, I knew why others' are doing this.
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week 7; monday
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don't worry ylfa I'm on it!!!
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I've already begun to assist you on this important mission
w7; friday wednesday
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Hi, Mizuki... I can't really tell if we did anything.
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[ hewwo. ]
Maybe... we did? I dunno. I think we were supposed to avoid, uh, death first.
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[but it's definitely kind of anti-climatic...]
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Then the really beautiful lady and that guy showed up and absolutely none of what they said was actually right!
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Man, tell me about it. I could gripe about a few words in there myself, but... Whatever. They could have picked a better way to do that.
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[that's right.]
But it's not like any of us know the right thing to do the second it was happening. They made a bunch of assumptions too!
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I would have gone over there, but it's a little crazy to act like Monika was so wrong for being afraid of it.
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[she's not so sure.]
I think maybe we should have gotten Kiichi and Aika right then, but...I really did think I could do it with a little backup. Oh, well.
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And now all this. And for a second there I was really sure we were doing the whole eight weeks over.
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[why?????]
I really don't want to do it over.
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[i don't think she knows who date even is but she just has the vibe that she needs him to have, which is something she gets]
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week 7; saturday
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—Oh, hey. I didn't know it was your birthday.
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[she's honestly a little embarrassed by it.]
I mentioned that I might be 13 now, because it's hard to say what counts. Like - we've been here for two months, but we were dead, but maybe we were alive? And before that, I relived the same couple months over again. So chronologically?
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[giving a sort of sheepish smile at it.]
Are you going back home?
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Yep. I wouldn't dream of going anywhere else first, to be honest.
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[even if her mom is dead and her friends are all in the hospital...]
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What about you? Heading back home too?